Waiting on God
Back in the year 2011, there was a time I visited Rev. Sammy Wainaina, the current provost of All Saints' Cathedral in Nairobi, in his office for a talk. He is such a friendly and understanding gentleman. Well, I can't remember what we talked about that time but I do vividly recall him asking me in Sheng, "Uko na kadem? (Do you have a girlfriend?)"
I was a bit surprised to hear such a question coming from Rev. Wainaina, a respected man of the cloth. But he wasn't the first man of authority to pose such a question to me. A few years earlier in 2009 when I was dropping out of the university at JKUAT, Dr. Mbogo - the then JKUAT's Dean of Students - had asked me a similar question. It's like Rev. Wainaina and Dr. Mbogo thought that being in a relationship is a sign of maturity.
To be honest, the last time I saw a lass whom I admired was in 2007 when I was a first year student at JKUAT. Imagine I so much admired the lass that during one Chemistry lesson, I kept glancing at her as the lecturer droned on with her lectures. But you know what? Owing to my shyness, I never summoned the courage to approach the lass and initiate a conversation with her. What a poor fellow I was! By the way, I never saw the lass again when I reported back to the university in 2008 for my second year.
Since that time in 2007, no other young lady has ever earned my admiration the way that lass did. And it has not been for lack of trying. As a matter of fact, I have devised all sorts of ways to meet the woman of my dreams. Like I have turned up for social events with the hope of meeting single young women to no success. I have also signed up in several dating websites and even put an advert in a local newspaper in an effort to find "the one" but my efforts have borne me no fruits.
At another time in December 2015, I one day posted the following message on Facebook:
IMPORTANT NOTICESome of my Facebook friends laughed at that post but I was damn serious. As it turned out, no young lady showed interest in my offer, so I visited the museum unaccompanied. That I could go to the extents of posting such a message on Facebook shows how desperate I was to be in a relationship.
I WILL BE VISITING THE KAREN BLIXEN MUSEUM TOMORROW AND I NEED GOOD COMPANY. ANY YOUNG LADY WHO APPRECIATES ART AND DELIGHTS IN INTERESTING CONVERSATIONS WISHING TO ACCOMPANY ME, PLEASE HOLLA BACK.
And that wasn't the last time I felt desperate to fall in love. Over the last three years, I have at times found myself turning to Google and searching for female bloggers I could befriend. (You see, I have always wanted to date a writer ever since I took up writing as a hobby.) Google hasn't been of much help either.
After all those efforts to meet my soulmate have backfired, I have now decided to exercise patience and wait on God to connect me with the woman He intended for me. And as I wait for that divine connection, I will focus on developing my talents and becoming the right man.
All in all, I am grateful that I have been single all those years for three reasons. First, I have had a chance to know myself better. Secondly, I have learnt the ways of the world, like the pain that some people go through in broken relationships and failed marriages. And lastly, I haven't been that well-off financially to take a lady for outings and buy her gifts. Because I believe God's timing is always perfect, I have a feeling when He will connect me to the woman He intended for me, He will also avail for me the financial resources to sustain the relationship.
RECOMMENDATION: If you've enjoyed this story of mine on waiting on God, you might also enjoy another one I wrote sometimes back on "Improving Social Health". Just click on that link in blue to dive straight into the story.
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Becoming a Peacemaker
If Jesus Christ was a conman, colour me conned. Why? Because I draw a lot of inspiration from His teachings. I especially love reading the account of His life and preachings as narrated in the Book of Matthew. And I must say that I find His teachings as relevant today as they were two thousand years ago.
Among the teachings of Jesus that I strive to implement in my life include praying to God privately, not worrying about tomorrow and making myself fruitful by practising what the Word of God says in my day-to-day living. And every morning after waking up, I usually recite the Lord's Prayer as Christ taught us.
Recently, after witnessing a couple quarrel with each other for more than a year, I have found myself remembering the following beatitude as recorded in Matthew 5:9:
That beatitude has inspired me to continue trying to mediate peace between the couple I have told you about, whose identity I would like to keep confidential. It galls me to see the couple bicker with each other like little children, more so because they are part of my family. My greatest wish is for them to live in harmony after more than thirty-eight years of marriage.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called sons of God.
I have observed that of the two, the wife seems to be the one on the wrong side because she is always engaging in fault-finding and neglecting the simple acts of kindness and courtesy that make a relationship successful. She is always getting suspicious that her husband is having extra-marital affairs. Sometimes she gets so angry at him that she throws things around the house as a way of expressing her anger. Last Sunday, she threw a cup on the floor in a fit of rage. The cup broke into several pieces.
The husband, on the other hand, is always humble, helpful and understanding. He is always washing his wife's clothes because she has been suffering from stroke. And he is always treating her kindly which makes me wonder why the wife is mad at him. If it weren't for the husband's humility and understanding, the couple would have split up over a year ago.
Over the last one year since they began quarrelling, I have sat down with the wife on several occasions and reasoned things out with her. Like I have mentioned to her how her husband is ever helpful. I have also cajoled her to be grateful for her blessings and recited to her verses from the Bible such as Proverbs 21:19 which says "better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife." But it's like I am always talking to a stone because the wife has still been giving her husband a hard time with her never-ending arguments and suspicions.
I have now given up lecturing the wife. In addition to praying that she becomes peaceful and understanding, I will now strive to understand her and the way she sees the world. Ha! That reminds me of the following passage I came across in an SAT revision book when I was studying for the SAT exams in 2007:
The ability to see the situation as your opponent sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills that you can possess as a [peacemaker]. You must know more than simply that they see things differently. It is not enough to study them like beetles under a microscope. You need to know what it feels like to be a beetle. To accomplish this, you should be prepared to withhold judgement as you "try on" their views. Your opponents may well believe that their views are right as strongly as you believe yours are.Yes, I will strive to understand the wife and how she sees the world. And when she becomes angry, I will use my insight and understanding of her to make peace between the couple - not for any reward but because it is the right thing to do. Didn't I tell you about the beatitude that says "blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God"?
My dear reader, I beseech you to also be a peacemaker in your home and workplace. Where there is conflict, sow peace. And where there is hatred, sow love. It is the way God wants us to live.
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