Positive Quote For Today

"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself."— C. JoyBell C.

Slaying the Dragon of Guilt

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness..." ~(1st John 1:9).

My beloved reader, suppose you felt some discomfort somewhere inside your stomach and when the discomfort persists for two weeks, you visit a doctor to find out what's wrong. The doctor examines you and discovers that your pancreas has a cancerous growth. And then he drops on you this bombshell: you have six months to live because the cancer is too advanced to be cured.

Now tell me, what would you do next after receiving that bombshell? As for me, I would start writing a book titled My Last Lecture in which I would pour out my advice to youngsters, telling them on what constitutes a good life other than having a job and a family. And that's developing a life-long passion for learning and building a network of supportive friends.

As part of my last lecture book, I would make it known to youngsters that guilt is one of the negative emotions they will have to grapple with in their adult life. I would tell them about the time I first experienced guilt; that was roughly nine years ago when I was at the university in JKUAT. It was a natural consequence of the way I had messed up in 2008 after I went astray at the university. Since then, I have had recurring bouts of guilt in my soul.

At one time in late 2010, for instance, I was struck by a guilt complex after I went for choir practice at All Saints' Cathedral in Nairobi on a Saturday. Imagine I felt so guilty that Saturday that I couldn't withstand being seen on the streets of Nairobi on my way back home. It was like I was running away from people who weren't chasing me.

To tell you the truth, I've never done anything sinister to warrant the dozens of times I have felt guilty over the last seven years. Maybe they have been God's way of punishing me for the pain I caused to my family pain after I ignominiously dropped out of JKUAT in 2008 and again when I did the same when I was at the University of Nairobi in 2011. Those are the only two satanic sins I have committed in my life so far. Otherwise I have never oppressed anyone or conned someone of his money.

Over the past four months since the new year began, I have been at peace with myself most of the times. But something happened in the past two weeks that revealed the dragon of guilt is yet to die in me completely. I did feel a little guilty several times last week - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified guilt which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

A few years ago, I read in a local daily of one columnist named Chris Hart advising us that we acknowledge and embrace our weaknesses. That sounds like a great weapon of slaying the dragon of guilt that has been alive in me since 2009. So let me now make my main weakness known to the whole world. And that's my tendency to oversleep whenever I have nothing to look forward to the following day. I can get terribly lazy by sleeping from 7.00pm at night to 1.00pm the following day like I did yesterday.

As I've said, I usually oversleep whenever I have nothing to look forward to. I am therefore thinking the best way to remedy that weakness is by posting a story regularly on this lovely blog which has brought meaning and purpose to my life. So as from now henceforth, God-willing, I will be consistently posting stories on this blog for you to read.

By the way, I am always delighted and very delighted indeed to see from my blog statistics that people all over the world do take time to read the stories I post here. People from as far as Australia to Canada, from Peru to Japan, from South Africa to Denmark, and from Great Britain to India.

Thank you, my dear reader (yes, you!), for being among those who delight me. Without people like you, I would be having nothing to look forward to on most days. Again thank you. For that, please rush to the nearest restaurant from where you are and order any meal you like. And when they ask you to pay, tell them I sent you!

2ND EDITION: I edited my autobiography - accessible by clicking the "About" link in the menu at the top and at the bottom of this blog. Click it to read an updated account of my life.


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With permission, I have extracted this beautiful nature photo from a website titled Atgbcentral.com. All rights reserved worldwide.

UPDATE: I have removed this story for reasons I beg not to explain. Sorry for any inconveniences.


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