Becoming a Husband Material
One evening in December 2006 when I boarded a bus bound for my hometown of Kiserian, Gloria literally appeared from nowhere and came to sit next to me in the bus. She struck up a conversation with me and then proceeded to engage me in chat for the next one hour or so during our bus ride to Kiserian. We had such a pleasant talk that I thoroughly enjoyed the ride.
After that enjoyable bus ride, all I wanted was to be with Gloria. Smitten with love, I would send her text messages just to get her talking with me. And I tend to think she loved me too, given the way she mischievously wore my sweater at the end of the night mass we had on the eve of Christmas day in December 2006.
Come February or March 2007, Gloria informed us during one Sunday youth group meeting that she would be leaving Kiserian to go study nursing at a school in western Kenya. We were all saddened to hear that from her. A number of youths showered her with accolades on how wonderful she had been to us. As for me, I didn't say anything; I just gave her an affectionate bear hug at the end of the meeting.
Soon after Gloria left us, I kept in touch with her via phone and email. I would phone her at night just to tell her that I loved her. And I would also email her love poems that I plagiarized from the internet. She seemed to appreciate my advances because I remember her telling me that she loved me too.
Somehow as the days went by, my love for Gloria waned. We corresponded less and less. And when April 2007 reached, I also left my hometown Catholic church youth group and joined a choir at All Saints' Cathedral in Nairobi. Though my affection for Gloria diminished after I joined the cathedral's choir, my desire to fall in love with a young woman didn't die.
I remember one rainy evening during my first days in the cathedral's choir, a lady named Betty offered to escort me to the bus station where I was to board a matatu bound for Kiserian. As Betty shielded me from the rain with her umbrella that evening, I suddenly wished it was a girl of my age who was escorting me; a girl as lovely and beautiful as Gloria. Of course I didn't let Betty know what was going on in my mind.
It is that desire to fall in love with a young woman that motivated me to try my luck with a few female students I met in JKUAT where I matriculated in May 2007 to pursue an engineering degree. One of the students was a beautiful lass named Lorna Ogolla who impressed me with her ambitious nature. Lorna and I hit it off when we got to know each other during lectures. I wonder what would have happened to our friendship had she not dropped out of JKUAT in July that year.
A month or two after Lorna dropped out of JKUAT, another young female student started appearing on my love radar screen. The student was the most gorgeous lass that I had seen thus far. During one Chemistry lesson held in the university assembly hall, I kept turning my gaze towards her as the lecturer droned on with her lecture. But you know what? I never summoned the courage to approach the student. So I missed a chance to know her name for the few months she was in JKUAT. Like Lorna, she must also have dropped out of the university since I didn't see her again when I reported back to JKUAT in 2008 for my second year.
As I look back on my life, I am now thankful to God that I didn't fall in love with any of the lasses I was attracted to in those bygone years. Why? Simply because I was not a boyfriend material. I was shy, timid, confused and emotionally unstable - traits that became apparent in the way I behaved in August 2008 when I went astray at JKUAT during my second year studies.
Having learnt from my past mistakes, I have been working on becoming a boyfriend, or rather, a husband material. These days, I am striving to conduct myself maturely. I am also endeavoring to be financially stable, a goal that is taking longer to achieve than I had anticipated. Now that I have realized the importance of money, I have resolved not to get hitched or bear children without a guaranteed source of income.
And from what I have learnt from my own experiences and those of others, I advise all single young men out there not to rush into marriage without developing the qualities that a successful marriage requires. They should also refrain from sex if they are not ready to raise children. Well, I understand waiting to get into a relationship can be difficult but falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time is more painful. So exercise patience while working on becoming husband material. That's all I am saying.
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RECOMMENDATION: If you've enjoyed the above story on becoming a husband material, you might also enjoy another one I wrote last year on "Having a Successful Marriage". Just click on that link in blue to dive straight into the story.
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