Finding Strength in Grief

A True Story

by Thuita J. Maina

on Feb 2, 2024

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When Mum passed away last week and funeral arrangements began in earnest, I worried how I would deal with viewing her body and all the stuff that come with funerals. But I felt bright and clear-headed throughout the mourning week.

And her burial day began well for me. I woke up effortlessly early in the morning, and it was my cousin, Josephine Wangari, who warmed the water I bathed with before we left home for Lee Funeral Home in Nairobi.

Viewing Mum's body in the mortuary saddened me, but I stayed strong. After the viewing, I got into the hearse with Dad and three ladies. Then we began our journey to our hometown Catholic church, where the funeral service was held.

It was wonderful, the funeral service, what with the beautiful singing by the choir, and wonderful emceeing by Ludovic Kahoro, the church catechist. And I was privileged to offer my tribute.

After the service, we headed home, where we laid Mum to rest. Tears of grief cascaded down my ruddy face as I watched Mum's casket being lowered into the cold, dark grave. But again, I stayed strong.

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Also check out "Forgetful Parents, Cheeky Me".

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A Heartfelt Goodbye

A True Story

by Thuita J. Maina

on Jan 25, 2024

The Swahili people say, "Hayawi hayawi huwa. (What has not happened will eventually happen.)" Well, Mum, who has been suffering from stroke, diabetes and heart disease, passed away yesterday morning as I watched.

I found her lying flat on the bed when Dad told me she was having problems. She breathed in spurts and then went still. I tried giving her the kiss of life, but it was like she was gone.

Dad also told my brothers Joe, Bob and Paddy about Mum's condition. Paddy had an ambulance to come home. And Pascaline, a neighbor who likes flashing a beatific smile at people, came driving with her husband in no time.

It was Bob who asked Pascaline to come home. But her car couldn't help because Mum was neither talking nor moving. We had to wait for the ambulance, which came and took her to hospital.

After we wheeled Mum into the ambulance, I went back to my room and collapsed on the bed. I skipped my morning routine and chose to stay in bed while thinking about Mum, who I was sure was dead.

I remembered how she had gone to our farm the previous day to relax as usual. She called me from there and asked me to close the door of our mansion to keep the women who stole our plates a few weeks ago from doing so again.

That phone call of hers touched me so much that I resolved to love whoever she loved and hate whoever she hated. Little did I know that would be her last day on Earth. But I'm taking comfort from this words of Job:

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.

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Also check out "A Mother's Strength".
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