How to Win Friends

The other day, I was leafing through an old Reader's Digest magazine when I came across a brilliant article that said having friends is the secret to a long and happy life. Friends, the article said, help us cope with the difficulties of life. They also boost our immune system.

Because friends are that valuable, I thought it wise to write and share with you, my dear reader, three lessons I learnt on how to make friends from several sources including Dale Carnegie's evergreen How to Win Friends & Influence People. Only three lessons.

The first is remembering people's names because a person's moniker is the sweetest word to him. I can testify that is very true from a personal experience I had when I was fourth form at Starehe Boys' Centre. Well, I was playing soccer with my schoolmates when a popular, handsome chap of Indian descent named Michael Mahinda called out my name "Thuita." I felt so honoured to be known by a person of Mahinda's calibre. (By the way, Michael Mahinda was killed in a motorbike accident earlier on in this decade. May his soul rest in peace.)

So it is true that if you want to make friends, try to remember the names of people you'd like to win as buddies.

Some years back, I invented a trick of making a name stick in my memory when I first meet a person who is new to me. That's by having a short discussion about the person's name. For example, if someone tells me he is called Owen, I reply, "Oh, so you are Owen? You remind me of an England striker who was called Michael Owen." Such kind of chatter, as unnecessary as it might seem to be, has helped me to remember the names of people when they first introduce themselves to me.

The second lesson on how to win friends, which I learnt from the Dale Carnegie's book I have told you about, is complimenting people whenever they say or do something excellent. And that actually works because I know from personal experience how great it feels to be complimented for a job well done. Like my happiest moments these days is when I post a story on this lovely blog of mine and someone out there appreciates it.

Everybody wants to be admired and appreciated. Therein lies the third lesson on how to win friends: that is, make people feel important. So look for ways to make the folks you want to bag as friends feel important.

When I talk of making people feel important, I am reminded of a schoolmate in high school who once asked me my name. Upon telling him I am Thuita Maina, he blurted out, "Oh, you are the famous Thuita Maina!"

That schoolmate may not have known it but he did make me feel important. Such is the kind of way of making people feel admired and appreciated.

In a nutshell, if you want to win friends - remember people's names, compliment them for a job well done and look for ways to make them feel important. Adieu!

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RECOMMENDATION: If you've enjoyed this story of mine on how to win friends, you might also enjoy another one I wrote on "Bidding a Friend Farewell." Just click on that link in blue to dive straight into the story.