How to Build Self-esteem

Back in 2011, I came across at the Kenya National Library in Nairobi a magazine that extensively discussed about self-esteem. And wow! I found the contents of the magazine so educative, so inspiring, so invigorating.
Unfortunately, I never saw that magazine again in my subsequent visits to the library. I followed up on the whereabouts of the magazine by asking some workers in the library about it but they also had no clue where it had gone. It seems some guy somewhere walked off with the educative magazine.
All the same, I have managed to learn more about self-esteem from other sources. And what have I learnt? That there are people with good self-esteem and those with low self-esteem.
People with good self-esteem enjoy learning. They respect people of other backgrounds, regardless of their sex, age, race or creed. They can see the truth more clearly and are thus less judgemental. They forge more fulfilling relationships and build happier marriages. And they don't consider others more or less important than themselves.
On the other hand, people with low self-esteem feel inadequate and may thus avoid new challenges. They may engage in people-pleasing activities, boast too much and trust others' reactions more than their own. Their self-worth goes up and down like a yo-yo depending on how others behave towards them. And they may allow others to influence them in negative ways.
Furthermore, people with low self-esteem may bully those they see weaker than themselves in an attempt to feel better. They get jealous very easily and they may do drugs and engage in illicit sex that brings unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
Living with a low self-esteem, as you can see, is very frustrating. But it doesn't have to remain that way. I've got a number of suggestions on how to build self-esteem.
First, stop making life a contest. If you compete with others, you'll feel envious and unfulfilled, for there will always be people better than you in all areas of life. So run your own race without comparing yourself with others. As poet Nancye Sims aptly put it, it's because we are different that each of us is special.
Secondly, find something to do that gives you a feeling of achievement. It could be cooking, writing, building websites or knitting clothes. Whatever it is that you find fulfilling, create some time to do it regularly because as Thomas Carylye observed, nothing builds self-esteem like accomplishment.
Thirdly, focus on your strengths instead of dwelling on your weaknesses most of the time. I suggest you make a list of your qualities and talents, then review that list often. It will help build self-esteem.
Fourthly, avoid wallowing in guilt by thinking about all the mistakes you have made. Understand that everyone makes mistakes; it's not only you. Strive to see your mistakes as learning tools, not as signs of worthlessness.
Fifthly, take care of your health. And when I talk of health, I just don't mean physical health but also mental and social health. All those three types of health are essential to your well-being. You should therefore not neglect any of them.
Sixthly, improve your mind by reading a book, listening to music or writing a story. It's the best way of improving mental health. And improving mental health builds self-esteem.
Seventhly, build a network of supportive friends. You can join a church choir or a club that does constructive activities. And in this age of the internet, you can build a supportive network by staying in touch with old friends via email and social media.
Last but not least, strive to practise gratitude often. Be thankful for all you have, especially health and friends. Also remember this is the only life you have to live; why not appreciate it?
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