The True Meaning of Success

Yesterday evening as I was heading to the airport to bid farewell to my kid brother Symo who was departing for the British island of Bermuda, I thought about the true meaning of success. One thing I know for sure is that success means different things to different people. What is success to one individual may mean nothing to another.

Take for instance the annual London Marathon. For professional athletes taking part in the marathon, success to them is emerging first and breaking the world record. But for the elderly people in the marathon, success to them is finishing the race, even if it means taking seven hours.

That success means different things to different people became apparent to me when I reflected on a group therapy for Users & Survivors of Psychiatry (USP) that I attended in Nairobi early in this decade. During that group therapy, one woman narrated to us how sick she felt on a flight from Dubai to New York.

Guess what! Had it been me on such a flight, I would have felt high in spirits because I have always had a yen to travel the world. But imagine that woman felt sick to be on a flight from Dubai to New York, meaning she didn't consider flying to America a success.

The late Dr. Geoffrey W. Griffin, the founding director of Starehe Boys' Centre where I had my high school and college education, also didn't like travelling abroad. In 2004 when he flew to London for treatment, the school magazine ran a story titled "Director's First Trip Overseas in 40 Years."

If my memory serves me well, I remember doubting the accuracy of that magazine headline given the numerous opportunities for travelling abroad that arose every year at Starehe. During my close to six years stay in the school, there were teachers and students who travelled to South Africa, Germany, China, Austria, Canada, United States, Great Britain and Australia.

Perhaps for Dr. Griffin, success to him was not touring the world but managing Starehe into a centre of excellence. That's why he delegated those travelling opportunities to other teachers and students.

To me, success is writing skillfully, gaining peer respect and, as I have said, travelling the world. When I was pursuing a degree in electronic & computer engineering at JKUAT, I didn't feel much of a success to be in the local university. My idea of success was studying in such prestigious universities as Harvard where I would school with youngsters of different races, under a renowned faculty consisting of Nobel prize winners.

I am sure some of my classmates at JKUAT felt successful to be pursuing an engineering degree, especially those who were first in their families to attend university. Not me! As my classmates diligently studied for the degree course, I spent my first year at JKUAT applying to four top American universities, including Harvard.

At one time when I was a first year student at JKUAT, we happened to be attending a lesson during which I visited the website of Harvard University on a computer in the lab we were in. A classmate named Patrick Kimamo, on seeing me browse the Harvard website, told me quite frankly that he wouldn't want to study in an institution like Harvard where students are very bright. But for me, Harvard was precisely where I craved to pursue my undergraduate studies.

Guess what again! The same prestigious Harvard that I yearned to attend is the same Harvard that Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of. Maybe for them, success was not attending Harvard but founding multi-million dollar companies that impact lives.

Yes, success means different things to different people. What is success to one individual may mean nothing to another. It all boils down to what makes us feel happy and fulfilled. Ralph Waldo Emerson aptly captured the true meaning success when he wrote:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Then Bessie Anderson Stanley, in a poem that parallels that of Ralph Waldo Emerson, also aptly captured the true meaning of success when she wrote:

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;
Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it;
Who has left the world better than he found it,
Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;
Whose life was an inspiration;
Whose memory a benediction.

In other matters, I am still working on losing my weight as I resolved to do in a story I shared on this blog. So far, I have been doing some jogging and resisting the urge to eat a lot. I am trying to break a bad habit I have of waking up in the middle of the night to gobble leftover food. You see, being lean is my other idea of success!