On reporting back to Starehe Institute in 2007 after that December holiday, I scanned that picture of the furious beast, uploaded it into a Microsoft Word document and then typed the following quote below it:
Hatred is a wiremesh that imprisons our creativity. It is an acid that corrodes our happiness.After I printed the document containing the picture of the angry beast and the quote, a fellow institute classmate named Paul Karanja was so moved by the print-out that he asked me for a copy. I gladly gave it to him and had another one printed for hanging on a noticeboard in the institute building.
While I am unsure whether I succeeded in turning my fellow institute students away from hatred with that poster on the noticeboard, I am sure I must have been pleased with my initiative. And would you believe me if I told you the quote on the poster was from my own head? Yes, I came up with the quote, and I still believe every word of it: that hatred is a wiremesh that imprisons our creativity and an acid that corrodes our happiness.
Paradoxically, despite all that insight I had on the effects of hatred on our souls, I have found myself struggling with hatred and resentment over the years. There are some people I have hated - some for treating me with contempt; others, for cheating me of my money. In the year 2008 when I was at the university in JKUAT for instance, there was this tough young woman I hated intensely. Imagine I resented her to an extent that she would be the focus of my thinking when I got out of bed in the morning. I even maligned her to another person.
It was against that backdrop of resenting that tough young woman intensely that I came across a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. while leafing through an old Reader's Digest magazine in JKUAT library. The quote said: "Let no one pull you so low as to hate him."
That quote by Martin Luther King touched me so much that I wanted it printed on one of my T-shirts. So I approached a fellow engineering student at JKUAT to have him print the quote on a T-shirt of mine. Eventually though, for some reasons unclear to me now, I gave up on the idea. But at least the quote stuck in my memory.
Let's face it: we all struggle with resentment as we journey through this crazy adventure called life. We resent people who have treated us unfairly, judged us harshly, spoken to us arrogantly, conned us out of our money or stolen our valued possessions. When I was at the University of Nairobi in 2011, some fellow female classmates treated me with such contempt that I asked myself, "Why are some people so arrogant as if they have the power to keep the Earth from rotating on its own axis?"
If you struggle with resentment as I have done, my advice to you is to strive to replace thoughts of hatred with positive, happiness-inducing thoughts because it has been said our minds can only entertain one thought at a time. So when you catch yourself hating someone, immediately supplant that thought with something positive such as the things you are grateful for. Gratitude is the best antidote to resentment. Try it.
You could also focus on all the good people in this world. Instead of dwelling on that one person who judged you harshly, why not turn your focus on the friend who helped you at some point in your life? It could be an aunt who gave you some money to buy a pair of shoes or a former schoolmate who phoned you and stirred you from apathy with his encouraging words. Take to heart the wise counsel of Dwight D. Einseinhower, an American president who said, "Never waste a minute thinking about people you don't like."
Another way to get rid of resentment is to think of all the sins you have done when you catch yourself hating someone. Thinking about your sins will neutralize feelings of resentment since it will make you realize you deserve to forgive just as you deserve to be forgiven. And who in this fallen world doesn't sin?
The last suggestion I will give you on how to get rid of resentment is to quote the Scriptures when you find yourself hating someone. The Bible has numerous verses on the topic of hatred - one of my favourites is the following one from the book of Ephesians: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Resentment is, I repeat, a wiremesh that imprisons our creativity and an acid that corrodes our happiness. So as for me, I have decided to exorcise it from my soul by consciously getting rid of any thought that may breed hatred. To borrow the words of Booker T. Washington, I will permit no one to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. Adieu!
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