Living Above Neurotic Guilt

While surfing the internet a couple of years ago, I came across an interesting blog article written by a 24-year old Kenyan female blogger. In the article, the blogger enumerated 24 lessons she had learnt in her 24 years of living on this planet. As I read the lessons, I thought that was too much wisdom coming from a 24-year old. I was impressed by her article.

The lessons? Well, the ones I remember is her saying she had discovered God is real; she therefore advised people to trust in Him. She also said that everything in our lives will eventually work out, a lesson of hers that has instilled me with hope. And she encouraged young people to find their own voice instead of imitating other people's style of writing and speaking.

But the lesson of hers that stayed with me most was her claim that all people get corrupted at some point in life and begin experiencing neurotic guilt. That lesson has come as a surprise to me because I have thought the neurotic guilt I have suffered every now and then since 2009 has been as a result of the way I messed up when I was at the university in JKUAT.

Yes, I have suffered from neurotic guilt occasionally since that time in 2009 when I was dropping out of JKUAT where I had been pursuing a degree in electronic & computer engineering. Sometimes the guilt has become so intense that I have become afraid of being seen by people on the streets.

Thankfully, for the past one year since I developed a disciplined lifestyle, I have almost succeeded in living a guilt-free life given the way I have been feeling at peace most of the time. I have used the word "almost" since I still do feel a minor guilt feeling on some evenings when I go for my daily walks to my hometown of Kiserian.

Over the last few days, I have thought long and hard on the tactics I can use to totally overcome neurotic guilt. And today, I thought it wise to share with you, my beloved reader, the tactics I came up with, hoping that you will also benefit from them.

First is silencing the inner critic. There is this voice inside our heads that tries to put us down by reminding ourselves of our weaknesses and past mistakes. As for me, I have resolved to silence that inner critic by speaking encouraging words to myself and reminding myself of my strengths and past successes. And I know I will find lots of good things to say about myself to myself.

Second is developing a healthy self-love. We must love ourselves to be truly happy, a point most people don't seem to understand. As for me, I will say some nice things about myself when I see my reflection on a mirror. Nice things such as how I am kind, compassionate and empathetic - qualities of the heart from which true self-worth stems.

And loving myself includes overlooking my imperfections. I will endeavor to remind myself that no one is perfect apart from God. So I will not be hard on myself for the imperfections I see in myself in my day-to-day living. I will appreciate myself as I am. Different ... yes. Imperfect ... certainly. But nonetheless valuable.

Third is not letting the negativity around me get inside my heart and weigh me down. I have heard it said that ships don't sink because of the waters around them; they sink when the water gets inside them. Similarly, I won't let the insults and complainings of my work colleagues and family members get into my heart and contribute to my guilt feelings.

As I strive to implement those tactics of overcoming neurotic guilt, I will adopt the attitude of Abraham Lincoln, the great American president who was elected on a Republican ticket. Lincoln was not such a handsome man. Had he lived in these media-crazy days when looks seem to matter more than character, he probably wouldn't win the Republican primary, much less the presidency.

But Lincoln would have been happy anyway. He once said, "It's up to me to whittle what I can with what I've got. I am ready to admit you can make a better looking dog out of the same raw material, but what I am, I am. So this will just have to do." Such an attitude as Lincoln's can help us live above neurotic guilt. Don't you think so too?

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RECOMMENDATION: If you've enjoyed the above story on living above neurotic guilt, you might also enjoy another one on "Slaying the Dragon of Guilt" which I wrote about three years ago. Just click on that link in blue to dive straight into the story.