Developing Self-confidence

Among the things Muthusi told me were his dreams and beliefs. Boy, didn't I envy his self-confidence! He appeared comfortable in his own skin. That's unlike me who didn't have total faith in myself.
Maybe it's that self-confidence that made Muthusi get recognised as a leader during our high school years at Starehe Boys' Centre. He was the first student in my year to be promoted to a senior prefect.
As for me, I have never been blessed with self-confidence. During my years at Starehe where I outperformed most of my classmates in academics, I wasn't confident enough to be appointed to a leadership position.
I continued being unconfident well into adulthood. It has been disheartening to read a lot and then have less studious people control me and dictate what I should do with my life.
And lacking self-confidence has caused me problems. I have often been held emotionally hostage by people's opinions. A distant neighbor I used to visit, for instance, affected how I felt when she gave me her advice.
One evening in 2011 when I visited the neighbor, she said something which I agreed with. That made me feel so inspired that I literally danced all the way home.
Perhaps encouraged by her inspiring talk, I visited her again. And lo! This time, she said something that triggered my guilt feelings. Needless to say, I walked home like a rained-on chicken. What a timid fellow I was!
Because I have always committed myself to constant improvement, I bought Dale Carnegie's How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking one day in 2022. I read the whole book but didn't gain endearing knowledge on how to develop self-confidence and influence people.
But, as they say, "aluta continua" (the struggle continues!). I am therefore striving to develop confidence in my ideas, in my dreams, in my abilities, and in my own unique way of thinking. Not an unwise goal for you to set as well, my beloved reader!
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RECOMMENDATION: If you've enjoyed the above story on developing self-confidence, you might also enjoy another one on "Thinking, Believing & Daring" which I wrote a couple of years ago. Just click on that link in blue to dive straight into the story.
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